and a very individual thing. Writing it out helped even tho not another person read it but me. Help is help.
Callie says the dates don't mean as much to her as his glaring absence when she instinctively wants to share something with him or is reminded of him. Those 5 days loom for me every year. For a while, I thought I would never get the picture of what he looked like in ICU out of my head. That's why I won't watch stupid doctor shows on TV anymore - patients don't look like that - they look horrid. Swollen or gaunt, red or pale, tubes and oozes and funny smells and they are unrecognizable. Nightmarish even.
Yes, those days loom. But they're over this year so on we go. And now I remember beautiful strong fishing Johnny. The best is yet to come!
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