Daddy's going to take me to the funeral home. I am numb. I'm just moving and doing the things people keep telling me I have to do. But I do know which funeral home I want to use - the one close to where Johnny was born. So Daddy called them and they are going to meet us there. On a Sunday afternnon. Because Death doesn't care.
And Susan and Lisa decided they should go. Jesus help me. Please.
I have to buy a plot. Do I want one for both of us? I'm young I may not want to be buried there. But then you have to be buried somewhere.
I have to buy a casket. Tons to choose from. Susan and Lisa like this high dollar one all carved for the outdoorsman - way high dollar. Oh wait - are you guys helping me pay for this? No? Then shut up.
I have to plan the order of service. Here we agree - closed casket (he hated crowds and would not like be stared at), graveside service only (see above) and we must have the song "How Great Thou Art" sung (his favorite hymn ever). Do we want a program? What do we want in the program? Who will conduct the service? They are not church going people so they agree that my pastor can do the service and a former pastor's wife will sing (like an angel, she did).
Done. $10,000.
Now what will he wear? Oh my God - that pummeled me. Pummels me now. I picked an outfit I had just given him for Christmas - he liked the softness of the shirt and he looks wonderful in that color.
Oh Lord - what are we going to wear. Because I know whatever it is, I will never wear it again.
I'll deal with that tomorrow.
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